Some Army Men Games review

[BlueSpy]

Army Men - World War
For the love of God, stop making Army Men games!

June 20, 2000 - Maybe I'm a little jaded. Maybe I've played too many games at this point. Maybe I need to refresh my views on what makes a good video game. Or maybe 3DO just needs to stop making these damn Army Men games. The idea stopped being original years ago along with everything else that is in this game. Nothing here is original and the worst part is that it isn't even cute anymore. The Tan and Green armies are just going at each other in the plastic world and not in our oversized human world. So whatever charm and fun that the game ever claimed to have is totally gone now. All that is left is a way below average squad based strategy game.

Where should I begin? The dated graphics? The frustrating interface? The terrible sound? Ugh. Well, in the interest of conserving time and energy, and in honor of an unoriginal and boring game, I'll adopt that tried and true formulaic approach to reviewing and just go through the points step by step.

Presentation
If you didn't look very closely, you might think this was the exact same menu system from the other Army Men games. Not even this aspect of the game underwent an upgrade. All corners were cut. It's like they were trying to make it hard for you to get excited about playing this game. Luckily enough, the menu system is easy to get around, so it is easy to actually get into the meat of the game. Not that there's all that much meat.

Graphics
The visuals in this game make me long for the pixilated graphics of the Super Nintendo. It's always been a thought of mine if you are making a whole new game in a franchise, and not just creating an expansion pack, then you should actually put forth some effort to create new graphics and, hell let's go crazy, a new engine. The graphics and horrible little animations in this game are the same as they've always been. The fact that all of the moving units are monochromatic just makes the bad animations and lack of detail even worse. Textures in the world just make your units blend in so that they are hard to find at times, which believe it or not, can cause some problems. It seems that with all of the many Army Men games and all of the bad comments about the bad graphics that they would make some kind of attempt to make the game at least slightly pleasant to look at.

Sound
I was tempted to take a movie of the game just so I could take a clip of the atrocious sounds that curse this already cursed game. They are bad. Bad, bad, bad. The voice acting especially. There is one point in the game where an allied blue unit that has had his troops destroyed is hiding in the bushes. When you get close enough to him, he spouts out how scared he is and blah blah blah. All it made me want to do was turn the game off. And I didn't need any more encouragement at that point. The basic sound effects in the game are just that, basic. They are boring, without any kind of personality or flair, and most of all annoying. The game still has bad jokes that are delivered with the timing of an accidental pregnancy. If it weren't for needing to hear when vehicles were close by, it would be better to play the game with the sound on mute.

Playability
Interface is everything in a real-time strategy game. Especially when you really need to make sure that you don't lose any units as they carry over from mission to mission and you start with whatever you had left when you begin the next level. But did they care to really think the interface out? I don't think so, because if they did, then they all need to find new careers. It's just clumsy. There's no way to get around it. When you are in a pinch and need to select units or groups of different units quickly, it really can't happen. Oh you can designate groups in certain numbers, but if you need to select random units from a couple of different groups, then you'll need to click on the special little black area in the gui and then drag a box around the units that you need. Meanwhile, half of your units have kicked the bucket and you need to load up the save game. Selecting special weapons and items is also a pain in the butt. You have to right click on the item in the gui in order to select it. And unfortunately, if you forget to change back to your regular gun, the computer will just keep using up the limited ammo of the special weapons if an enemy is near.

You can also take control of individual units of the game and use the keyboard to move them around and roll and duck and kneel and all of that. The problem with this is that the screen centers on the unit you are controlling automatically which restricts your view of the field so that you end up running right into the fire of a unit that you can't see because the camera is centered on you unit with it's limited view.

On a positive note, some of the missions are okay. Too bad the mucky gameplay gets in the way of them. The levels aren't designed with any real sense of genius or care. It's just kind of a "hey a gun would look cool here" kind of mentality. But there are several different types of missions, which at least keeps some small interest in the game. Not nearly enough to make the game passingly good however.

Multiplayer
Yes it has multiplayer, so you and a bunch of your friends can be in pain together. You know, kind of like a bonding experience.

Why, oh why does 3DO insist on wasting everybody's time and money? The army men idea was cute at first, and the engine and graphics weren't the worst thing ever created when the first of the Army Men games came out in 1998, but that was two years ago. Some might argue that the $20 price tag makes up for the lack of new graphics and gameplay, but it doesn't. All I can do is recommend that you save up those pennies and go buy a game that's worthwhile like Starcraft that will keep you interested for a long time.


Army Men: Air Attack
Tiny plastic men take to the air in a fast-moving, arcade shooter that's serious two-player fun.

November 23, 1999 - As the Army Men franchise diversifies from strict little green men rolling, loading, and shooting one another by hand, the series becomes a tad more interesting. Take for example the latest of the Army Men games, Air Attack. These little green devils make up an entire air force command, complete with a cacophony on helicopters and trained men to pilot them.

Air Attack, a one- to two-player game, pits the Green army forces once again against the Tan in an all out attack of the local neighborhood (in single player), and enables players to go against, or play with, one another (in Deathmatch or in Co-op mode). Any way you decide to play, Air Attack is a refreshing take on the shooting game, and one that makes for great, lightweight fun.

Gameplay
In the 16 single-player missions, you take on the Tan army in the ongoing battle to control the backyard or nearby park, whichever this troupe of little green men have decided to inhabit. It's an all-out battle for territory, plain and simple. You fly a set of four different helicopters that open up each four levels, and each with a different set of capabilities. You start with the Huey, and them move on to the Chinook, the Super Stallion, and the Apache, which is the ultimate in hardcore, fast, armored, and well-loaded air copters. Players also get the chance to pick a co-pilot, each with a lightly different personality and specialty. From the hours we played, it didn't matter so much who you chose, but which helicopter you chose, to decide a win.

The helicopters move easily across the screen with either the analog or digital pads, but it's clear the game is really created with analog control in mind. The analog control is the most fluid and intuitive way to maneuver and strafe (the R1 and L1 buttons assist in strafing, which comes in very handy in battle most of them time). The helicopter control is arcade-like, meaning it's simplistic and instantly accessible. The copter always stays the same distance from the ground and never blows up from bumping into, say, a mountain or an opponent, for instance.

Players access a primary weapon (machine guns) and a secondary weapon, which ranges from guided missiles to rockets, and more. Players also have access to a winch, which comes into play for power-ups, and moving objects, such as donuts, cherry bombs, and more. The easy controls are perfect for head-to-head combat, and projectile patterns are set up just old school shooters, like R-type Delta or even top-down shooters.

But it's the winch that's an awesome addition, enabling missions to vary and become more complex. One mission, for example, requires players to free a set of insects from "weird" Tan experiments, while protecting your bases. Once you get the idea, it's pretty simple and fun. Blow up the containers holding the bugs and they retaliate by destroying the Tan constructs. OK, so that doesn't use the winch. I just like that level. Another level requires you to lead an army of ants away from your bases. How to do it? Move the sugar-powdered donuts they love to eat. Ants like sweet things, right? Press O, pick up the donut and place it right in the middle of the Tan base; watch the clever, hungry ants follow, and duly destroy the Tan base. Fun stuff, Captain!

OK, so the single-player levels are fun, and grow increasingly hard at about level 6. It's OK by me, but I zipped through the first five missions without losing more than one life and then level six forced me to smarten up. So, yeah the curve right arches upward there, and I'm glad about it (but it is abrupt). I was worried the game would be too easy to that point.

But it's really the multiplayer and coop levels that are the real blast. The first time I played this game at E3, I ditched a meeting, and spent it instead with the two Air Attack designers, trading wins and losses for an unmitigated hour of pure fun. It was addicting and innocent joy. I simply couldn't deny the game's charm, and I've been waiting for the final version ever since. Play in either coop mode, which is relative fun, or go head to head in a battle to the finish. The later one is obviously my favorite. One game and you're hooked.

Graphics
The visuals of Army Men Air Attack are pretty straightforward. The worlds are 3D, but your helicopter can only move in 360 degrees, not up or down (It's by no mean a fault, otherwise the game would be too difficult, it's just a clarification). The Army Men you've possibly seen on the PC or in Army Men 3D on PlayStation are the same here, little plastic men with heavy weaponry. It's the backgrounds that are intriguing. Actually, it's the insects, to be honest. Giant bumblebees, ants, and lots of other little critters scamper or fly around and they simply look cool. And they'll attack you if you're not careful.

The backgrounds are worthy of note, too. The 3DO developers set the game in a real world filled with ordinary suburban items, sizing the Army to look small in comparison. So, in one level, players must protect a train from point A to point B. The train looks like a Tonka toy, and the environment resembles that of a young child's backyard. Another level requires you to save the base from the ants (which are bigger than you), and it takes place on a checkered picnic cloth, complete with empty soda cans and containers of Spam. The Lilliputian effect works perfect, and I was transported back to my six year old days, using any old object imaginable for my play setting or Army Men.

Sound
Possibly the worst parts of the game are the music tracks and the sound effects. They're not so bad that you won't want to buy the game, but they're simply not up to par with the rest of it. The music is simple military fare, just like Army Men 3D, and it gets old after one level. The military snare and marching themes get old real fast. Try something else! It's time!

The enemy voices are completely in line with the most inane of Saturday morning cartoons, except it's indistinguishable from any other bad guy voice you've ever heard. Like a poor man's Snidely Whiplash. The standard Green force voice-overs are just as primitive, except they're stereotypical "personalities" used to distinguish one insane gunner from another. If they had some funny jokes to tell or added some humorous asides, and they spoke like Stephen Hawkings they still would be better than these. Not only is the production on the voices bad, but also so are the transitions from level to briefings and back to levels.

The one exception to the bad sound voices, at least in my mind, is found in this hilarious level in which you free the insects from the Tans. When you free the insects from their cardboard box, this weird metallic buzz issues out, and they say, "We're Freeeeee!" It's so weird and almost out of place that it's funny. With more of that kind of wackiness, the voice and sound effect department would have been great.

Closing Comments
Like I said before, this is a fun one-player game, but a very addictive two-player game. The analog controls make for perfect battles and head to head warfare, and the winch and all of the secondary weapons are totally intuitive to use.

Don't, however, count out the single-player missions. Initially, I thought this would simply be a great two two-player game. But the single-player missions kept me enthralled with the various missions, tasks, and funny interactions with the animal and insect life all around.

Unlike its predecessor (Army Men 3D), Army Men Air Attack is a smooth looking game with a lot of fulfilled potential. It brings the air aspect of the Army Men universe into play, and creates a for more intriguing aspect for players who simply wanted more out of the Army Men series. It's not the end all be all, but it's straightforward fun and should by no means be over-looked this holiday.


Army Men
Plastic toy soldiers make the move to the PC screen... but is it worth the effort?

July 31, 1998 - This is a fun game.

It is a great concept though--take the little green plastic army men we played with when we were kids and use them as characters in a videogame (3DO swears up and down they came up with this idea before the movie Toy Story came out!). To make sure you notice how great the concept is, Army Men sells with little plastic army men in the box, which may be enough of an attention grabber to account for the game's ability to break PC Data's Top Ten charts for a month or two. At any rate, Army Men is an important reminder that cool concept art does not make a game.

Army Men is an action game, played from an overhead, Gauntlet-style perspective, though there are occasional intrusions of strategy. The little armies of soldiers are divided into identical green and tan sides (I seem to remember my green plastic army men came with German opponents, but never mind) that are determinedly belligerent in a somewhat endearing manner. Various missions span desert, swamp and mountain environments, and a variety of weapons and vehicles lend variety--bazookas, grenades, tanks, jeeps, air-strikes, and the like. However, the one gun that would be the most useful for a lone commando, a submachine gun, is absent.

In each game, you control one unit on the map, a guy named "Sarge", who calls in air strikes, tosses grenades, and use all the different weapons found on the map, though he starts with a standard rifle. Control is with the number pad; you fire by tapping the space bar.

Here's where the problems begin. "Sarge" is apparently a gamy old stiff-legged man equipped with a BB gun, because he can't hit the broad side of a barn. This is largely due to the game's control system. To target someone, you must align each enemy soldier along the vector of your rifle, which frankly takes far too long.

Furthermore, "Sarge" can't clamber over knee-high barriers and ditches. Instead, he must go all the way around the barrier, meaning you pretty much play through the mission exactly the way it's laid out. That means you must solve each mission's "puzzles"--go here, use this weapon, get this health--again and again until you get it right. Oh, and there's no way to save in the middle of a mission either.

At times, a squad of infantrymen accompanies "Sarge", but if your mission is to keep the squad intact, you're probably better off leaving them guarding the starting point and clearing the path yourself. These guys are seriously inept. Not all of Army Men is a total loss. Using the flame-thrower or vehicles can be fun at times, and the art and presentation is nice. Unfortunately, the core game underneath is little more than an exercise in futility and aggravation. For now, it looks like green plastic army men should stay buried in your backyard, and off of your hard drive.


Army Men: Air Tactics
The evil Plastro is back, and he's here to suck the life out of you.

April 5, 2000 - You know that scene from Event Horizon where you see everyone mutilating themselves because the sheer horror of what they were experiencing drove them to new heights of insanity? In case you haven't, they did that because they were in hell, and I think that they must have been informed that they were going to be forced to play Army Men: Air Tactics. I guess they just figured they'd take the easy way out. This game misses and annoys in so many ways I'm really not sure where to start, but as a stalwart professional, I'll try to suffer through the nausea that I experience when I think of this game and give you a review.

I guess it's easy enough to dive in with the first noticeable downfall: the graphics. The visuals and graphics in this game look as though they haven't been upgraded at all from the first Army Men game. The human world is more populated with things to give some scale to the army men, but this game looks like it could have been made for the Super Nintendo. It's ugly, choppy, full of bad animations, and basically offends my sense of ascetics. Risk II has much better graphics than this game for cryin' out loud, and it's a board game remake. Okay enough of that, the vein in my forehead has started to pulse again.

So if the graphics are so bad, then they must have made up for it in the gameplay right? You would think so, wouldn't ya? But the best innovation to the game is that there are little games available inside the main game such as air hockey and Go. Otherwise the game revolves around endless amounts of killing little soldiers, tanks, and terribly animated flying ill-tempered insects with lasers strapped to their heads. The game occasionally calls for some little puzzles to be solved to complete a mission in the game, but they are painfully obvious and therefore about as fun to figure out as the setup to your VCR. I got no sense of accomplishment from finishing a level except to say, "thank God I don't have to ever have to play that level again."

All this is without even talking about how the actual helicopters control. Well, imagine driving a car around on a field of Crisco and you'll know about how simple and fun it is to control the helicopter well. I've also always thought that in games like this, when you see the little bullet pixels hit the bad guy, it should hurt him, but it took inordinate amounts of time to kill simple soldiers sometimes.

So if the graphics and the gameplay are so bad, the sound must be good right? By now you should know that the answer is no. Average to bad music and bad sound effects just manage to take the game one step further towards the coveted "worst game I've ever played" title. I'm sure Steve will try to fight me on this one and keep it squarely in the hands of Blaze 'n Blade but this should definitely be neck and neck with it. Basically the voice acting is the best part of the sound, and it's really cheesy and bad, which in all truth isn't a horrible thing in a game about fighting toys. But the fact that the rest of the game makes you forget that these little guys are supposed to be toys just ruins that effect.

What should be a cute game that lets you play with toys is really just an exercise in patience as you fight the urge to rip the CD out of the computer and break it. Let's just hope that 3DO finally figures out that this series should pass from our lives and to never whisper it's horrible name again. I can already see the "next stunning Army Men game brought to life in a 3D RTS using the awesome power of the Force Commander engine!" Barf.


Army Men 3D
3DO's plastic quick study in decent gameplay and licensing strategy is unfortunately not a keeper.

March 22, 1999 - With much excitement did I watch the Army Men 3D game grow from a realtime strategy game on the PC to a mission-based action title on the PlayStation. The game took on the kind of action elements that made army men figures fun to play with back when I was a little whippersnapper. Simplistic plastic turrets, mounds to hide behind, and tons of little cheap army men in all sorts of poses were all readily available for beat-'em-up combat.

Now that the final version is out, all of the the generic-faced military men are there. There's the dude with the bazooka, the fella in the jeep with auto rifle, the guy on his knee, the man on his belly, and on and on.... But now, things are different. In 3DO's PlayStation version I'm now able to 1) strafe (whoa baby!), 2) nail the enemy with real mortars (you just don't know god it feels), and ultimately 3) pick up the BFG of the Army Men universe -- the bazooka -- and blow the anus out of the rival tank. There's nothing better than that, really.

Army Men 3D is a solid little title that at its heart is a playable, action-oriented re-enactment of your childhood with plastic army men. Even if it's a little like Quake lite, or G.I. Goldeneye Starring Sarge, I played it all the way through because of its charm and the ease with which I could pick it up and play. That, and I didn't have to commit too much time to story or character development. RPG fans may vomit at this last phrase, but this is straight action, GI Joe style, and it's a kick.

One-Player Mode
You'll contend through three different terrain, Desert, Alpine, and Bayou, each containing more than five levels, and each with different objects. You play as Sarge, a gutsy military man who must penetrate the tan defenses and locate three keys to beat the invading forces. Sometimes you simply have to kill as many little tan suckers as possible, other times you're rescuing hostages, and other times, you must accomplish several tasks, such as maneuvering through tank territory, finding keys, and meeting at a pick-up point.

Despite what initially appears to be a confinement, Sarge's many poses ¿ all exactly the same poses of official little plastic army men ¿ are just the opposite. He can strafe, jump into a lying position, kneel, run, aim, and do everything need be. In essence, he may look confined, yet he is anything but.

Two-Player Mode
While the single-player mode of Army Men makes up the heart of the title, it's actually not the best part. The two-player mode should easily win over the hearts of any deathmatch player with its use of tanks, mortars, bazookas and other heavy artillery. Who can resist the temptation of running over his or her enemy with a tank? Or blowing their little plastic heads across the tundra? But while mortars and grenades are effective in the single-player game, they're almost completely ineffective in the multiplayer mode, a small bummer.

The two-player mode is a simple capture-the-flag affair, but the strategy is more complex than at first sight. You place at least two other men in offensive of defensive positions prior to play, and then you'll tromp out into the field to wipe out the enemy while the opponent does the same. It may be easy to capture the flag but you also have to get back to your base. Which is not so easy. Ever have a rifle pick away at your Achilles' heel? Or have you ever been melted by a flame thrower? No fun, pal. Still, while the hunt and chase if great fun, there are minor flaws that pick away at your playing sensibilities. What is lacking here is the kind of variation that made Goldeneye so great, like various weapon alterations, time restraints, and the plethora or game styles, such as first one to get 10 points, one-shot-and-you're-dead, bazookas-only, tanks-only, etc.

Graphics
Unfortunately, the gloss of Army Men does is quickly tarnished after a few levels. Particularly in the graphics arena, but in many other departments as well, such as collision detection, variety of gameplay, and long-term playability.

Army Men is not a particularly good-looking game. The 3D polygonal world is sparsely decorated, and it's simplistically animated. Sure, the army men should look like the real, simplistic, plastic thing, but that doesn't mean the whole world should appear so droll. The graphics engine on this baby is not nearly up there with Crash, Metal Gear, or Final Fantasy VII, and in the fourth year of PlayStation games, people expect better-looking games. It's rough looking, in fact, and coupled with a medium to low resolution, you'll find yourself wincing on occasion at its unrefined appearance.

Gameplay wise, Army Men doesn't push any envelopes. The missions aren't truly different enough, and by the end of the game, you'll feel half-empty, not fully satisfied that the game reached its full parameters. You'll want more missions with more clever objectives, more secret passages, more exploratory landscapes, and more communication possibilities. These little guys should be able to wander into the deep recesses of the landscape, like sludging up to their noses in the lake, digging down into tunnels, climbing up into trees, skiing, or at least cross-country skiing, and more. The level design is a so basic with no real adventuring or exploring at all, that many folks will tire of it before playing all the way through.

Sound
The sound is most unimpressive, too. Many of the military tunes sound alike and the quality of the production hampers you from turning the sound up too loud. Didn't the army men in the movies Platoon or Apocalypse Now have different kinds of music playing behind them, instead of standard military drumbeats that resemble those piping out from a college marching band? A better variety of songs might have helped the audio department along a bit.

In the end, I loved Army Men, but only for a short while. The only long-term saving grace is its two-player mode. I zipped through the game in a weekend. It's a decent game to play for about two days, and then that's about it.


Army Men: Toys in Space
Does the third one finally break through the series' mediocrity? Don't get your hopes up, Chester.

October 28, 1999 - Frankly we weren't expecting a lot from the latest 3DO foray into the world of little plastic men, Army Men: Toys in Space, especially remembering our experiences from the first two. It's frequently been the series that was high on concept but low on execution. In fact, after playing this game for what seemed an eternity, we were reminded of the words of former Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach John McKay, when asked what he thought about his 0-13 team's on-field execution.

"I'm in favor of it," McKay quipped.

We hear you, John. Though we had guillotine in hand by the time we were done with Army Men: Toys in Space, we still realized that wasn't so much a bad game as it was a frustrating experience. Clever ideas and good intentions often shone through the cloudy interface and controls, almost making you like the game in spite of itself.

Almost.

Jumping into the game is familiar territory for those who've played the previous incarnations: You control green plastic army men most would remember fondly from childhood. The world around you is sized as it would be if you were a toy ¿ giant soda cans and toilets are your obstacles; tan army men, ants, and toy-sized aliens are your enemies.

This time, Gen. Plastro, leader of the tan forces from previous games is still bent on universal domination, and now he's enlisted none other than an army of bug-eyed aliens to help his plan come to fruition. Luckily, as the game progresses, you'll team up with Tina Tomorrow and her space troopers, putting some space freaks on your side, too.

Most of the time, you are Sarge, leader of the green forces. As you progress through the maps, you pick up various weapons, from bazookas, to grenades, to flamethrowers, and can enter vehicles like tanks, jeeps and trucks. You'll also find other green forces to help you along, and can split them into units as you see fit. Clever touches are sprinkled throughout, too ¿ players will be able use everyday objects that become killer weapons for a batch of toys. Bring out the giant magnifying glass to fry your enemies; flap the fly swatter down to teach those ants a lesson; or drop a baseball on the unsuspecting heads of an alien horde. Of course, the tan solider (and alien) enemies are similarly equipped and very deadly: almost impossible to kill at times without ridiculously superior firepower ¿ and a new control scheme.

At its heart, Toys in Space is a boiled down RTS, with extra action thrown in for good measure. That's all fine and good, but because of that, we expect a certain measure of RTS controls that we're familiar with, or that at least aren't so convoluted and difficult to handle in the heat of battle. We often found our units slaughtered for the simple fact that we couldn't figure out exactly how to move or split our forces fast enough. With more time in the game, some of this difficulty dissipated, but not enough to ever make the game seem like it was set on anything but "extra super-duper hard."

Worse yet, while the game's top-down view offered some nice visuals of the flowerpots and picnic baskets that served as obstacles, the set pieces often didn't act as 3D objects. Many times, a path that looked clear under a flower petal or through a narrow passageway simply wasn't there, though your eyes told you it was. And we thought we left the invisible walls to our console brethren.

Of course, natural obstacles to completing your mission are always easier to accept than the sheer stupidity of your own men. Many times you'll rush into a battle situation and get your leader into a corner, only to have the rest of your men crowd in behind you like that marching band in the alley in the movie Animal House. Great, now you're a sitting duck for a bombing raid or a grenade-lobbing tan soldier, just because your unit is dumber than the plot of that Martin Lawrence movie, Blue Streak. Unit intelligence more advanced than the AI in the Magic 8-Ball might have been nice.

And then there are a few things that just plain don't work. While the manual and the training mission says you should be able to right click in front of the soldier or unit you're controlling to move them to a point, we never got it to work properly. The same thing happened when we tried to enter vehicles in the training mode, where we were told to right click over the tank, truck or jeep to make them enter ¿ but it just wouldn't happen. Either we're game dyslexic, or there are some serious control/bug issues here.

The game does support multiplayer over Heat.net and MPlayer, which was a little more fun because we were able to rough up some real people with mines, grenades and giant magnifying glasses. But the same problems in the single-player left us without much desire to keep trying multiplayer battles.

It's a shame that so many stumbling blocks tripped up what could have been an entertaining game. Watching the little green and tan men battle it out with real weapons, calling in air strikes on those lousy aliens, and doing it all as a miniature solider in a world of larger-than-life everyday objects is genuinely a concept we'd like to play ¿ if it was done right. The graphics here, while not amazing, are well-done for 2D, and the sound does a more than adequate job of putting you in the moment, with explosions, radio chatter and the screech of dying plastic soldiers. We kept playing, wishing the problems would just go away after the next level, thinking the concept was good enough to overcome the troublesome sloppiness.

But you can only grant a game so many mulligans before pushing the keyboard away in frustration and heading back to more productive activities, like watching TV or washing the cat. After the second time you get blocked in by your own unit's clumsy AI and can't move, after the fourth time you try to jump in a vehicle exactly as the instructions have described and still can't do it, you tend to offer less slack. And finally, when the rope is more taunt than a Baywatch star's abs, you're ready to tie the CD to the end of it and sling it out the window.

The odd thing is, the game seems more aimed toward the casual end of the occasional-hardcore spectrum, making the game's confusion and difficulty all the more puzzling. We hardcore folks are more liable to put up with a little initial difficulty for some ultimate payoff (mostly because it's not that difficult for us), but the novice players won't. It's difficult to imagine a casual gamer putting up with Toys in Space for more than a few minutes before realizing how unnecessarily difficult and convoluted the game is, and passing it up for something without so many execution problems.


Army Men: Air Combat "The Elite Missions"
Every bit as good as the N64 original, and -- that's all.

April 22, 2003 - The Army Men franchise of titles has a goofy history. It all started a few years back, hot off the heels of Pixar's blockbuster Toy Story CG flick. The idea to create a game franchise that revolves around the toy universe of our favorite green, plastic, childhood heroes was interesting at the time, and 3DO hasn't stopped cranking out sequel after sequel ever since. The problem with the franchise isn't the concept, because, to be honest, we love the concept. We grew up with buckets full of green and tan troops littered in the sandbox just like everyone else. The problem is that 3DO's Army Men videogame titles have been hit or miss throughout the years -- and sadly, mostly misses.

So, whenever we get the latest Army Men title here in the offices, we're careful to check our skepticism at the door and give it a fair look, because the 3DO development team has certainly surprised us in the past. In fact, the original Air Combat game was a fairly respectable little action title back in its day on the N64. But that was three years ago on a system that shipped with roughly 4 MB of RAM. Today, our expectations are slightly higher. Oddly enough, this second Air Combat title in the series feels more like a three year-old re-release than a second-generation enhancement.

The Facts:

* Pilot five different helicopters, each with different weapons payloads and handling
* Play through 20 single-player missions or with friends in one of five multi-player modes
* Ten distinct environments, including Japanese Garden, Halloween Night, Wild West, Flower Bed, and more
* Toy-inspired weapons range from bottle rockets to cherry bombs
* Pick up objects with each helicopter's tow line to swing them at enemies or to reel-in power-ups
* Requires six blocks of Memory Card space for saved data, or save campaign progress via a simple password system
* For one or two players simultaneous

Gameplay
The time has finally come to welcome the first Army Men title to the GameCube. The only catch here is that Air Combat on GCN is pretty much the exact same Air Combat game that we got back on the N64 with minor enhancements to earn the "Elite Missions" tag. It even hit the Sony consoles under a slightly different name (Air Attack 2) a couple years back, and so the circle is now complete. The only serious drawback to being the last console on the release list is the two to three year wait that has passed in the meantime. Time has not been kind to this game, and it shows in many ways.

As most have gathered by now, Air Combat puts players in control of one of several different toy helicopters flying combat-intensive missions against the evil tan army. The action is viewed in a slightly skewed overhead angle that keeps the focus centered on threats immediately nearby the helicopter, and it works for the most part. There are no manual camera controls, as the C stick only serves to toggle on and off the overhead map in the corner of the screen. The C stick isn't even used to strafe left and right as it was on the PS2, but the Cube's L and R triggers are comfortable enough to slip and slide around the battlefield.

Each of the four unique helicopters feels slightly different in the air, but all control noticeably poor. Turning left and right with the analog stick aggravates with its sluggish pace and prevents players from being quick enough to actually dodge the majority of oncoming missiles and ground fire. When firing back, Air Combat's targeting system is also bit wonky. Red arrows jump and flash around the screen semi-intelligently from enemy to enemy depending on which way the helicopter is pointing, but there is really no direct control over selecting targets. Just hold the A button down to spew endless machinegun fire, or drop finite missiles and napalm reserves with the X and Y buttons. Targets of opportunity always crowd the screen, and there's rarely a shortage of ammunition, so it's hard to knock Air Combat for not feigning the on-screen action. But the control simply isn't tight enough to keep up with the action in most cases, which leads to many unwarranted and frustrating deaths along the 20-mission path.

The big "improvements" made by 3DO in this quick cash-in port include four new levels added to the 16 found in the N64 version, a new front-end presentation, and a few minor visual upgrades. Otherwise, the game plays very similarly to any of the incarnations before it, and that includes the massive, chunky framerate slowdown during heated battles. Had the slowdown not occurred in any of the previous versions, then one might assume that the porting process was to blame. However, this slideshow effect has been a problem ever since the game first debuted three years ago, and it has most certainly not been fixed on the GameCube. The action and pacing definitely takes a huge hit whenever a group of RPG troops and vehicles congregate on-screen and players return fire with rockets of their own. It's a very frequent problem that doesn't render the game completely unplayable, but doesn't exactly encourage repeated gameplay, either.

The single-player campaign provides a few hours of flashy and frustrating gameplay from start to end. Players can also get a buddy to help out in the campaign cooperative mode, but the vertically split screen squishes and distorts each player's view a bit, making the battlefield perspective a bit awkward (if not amusing like a funhouse mirror). There are also four mildly entertaining multiplayer modes that give players a chance to shoot it out in a deathmatch arena, be the first to collect a number of objects, or compete in a simple capture the flag set-up. They're all limited to two-players and are all just about as fun as the simple, crude helicopter action framework established in the single-player missions. In other words: they're mildly amusing at first, but very quickly forgotten.

Graphics
The N64 was a great system, but we're not looking for a nostalgia trip when booting up our GameCubes. If we wanted to find rudimentary lighting effects, never-ending patches of repeating textures, low-polygon models, and rickety framerates, then we would have fired up the old cartridge-based system instead. Sadly, that's exactly what 3DO is offering in its latest GameCube package, and it doesn't come close to doing the system justice. Everything relating to Air Combat's visuals can be described as basic, repetitive, and just plain ugly at times. Texture seams and glitches are found far too often, and environments are very small and empty feeling. While we're certainly glad that 3DO is sticking with the green and tan motif and staying true to the simplicity of the classic toys, the series definitely needs a visual overhaul, and Air Combat is a showcase for it.

Sound
In keeping with its shoddy technical framework, Air Combat's audio suffers from horrible sound effects that are downright comical at times. Again, everything revolves around the fact that this game is based on toys and the kinds of sounds little plastic machines of war might produce. But when missiles and napalm go "boom" and then we next hear a falling enemy helicopter give off a zany cartoon spinning sound, it's hard to decide whether or not to take the game seriously. The game is mixed with all sorts of real-world sounds clashing with silly toy noises, and none of them are very exciting. Again, repetitive and bland are the key words here, and they're not words that we enjoy using.

Closing Comments
Just like the Oracle, we hate giving good people bad news, and the folks at 3DO are good people. Sadly, we have bad news for them: Army Men: Air Combat "The Elite Missions" is a sub-par GameCube title. It was decent when we first checked it out nearly three years ago, but finding it now relatively unchanged and on store shelves with a GameCube logo affixed is a true shame. Given that production costs must have set the company back a quick five bucks or so, the game is sure to rake some cash from unsuspecting shoppers. But for the more intelligent gamers in the crowd, realize that this game is very simple, very raw, very ugly, and ultimately not a lot of fun. It's a shameless attempt to quickly cash-in on a new market -- nothing more. There are much better games to spend your time and money on, and this re-hashed N64 title is not one of them.

[[Map][CRiM$oN_CobRa]]

um

again, didnt read it